Can a Marriage Survive Multiple Betrayals? Years of Fighting?
Can it be done over a weekend?
My obvious initial answer would be "hell no"!
Anyone who has ever been in a marriage involving marital infidelity (and there are many ways to practice infidelity) knows that this is usually a deal-breaker. Trust broken is rarely regained. Some people say it's like putting a mirror back together.
That is a very typical outlook and response to the original question posed: Can a marriage survive multiple betrayals and years of fighting? Despite all you may have thought about saving a marriage being impossible, my latest experience has shown me that it can happen and that a well-planned, intensive weekend can go a long way to substantially improve the odds. I have seen this happen in more than one case, including my own marriage.
Broken things get fixed all the time. Cars have all kinds of things that break, air conditioners break in the middle of hot, Texas, July nights just before family gatherings, sometimes our hearts arteries clog up and must be repaired. The point is that they can all be repaired and fixed!
Why not marriages? Why would they not be repairable? They are made to last lifetimes. It’s funny, but if you take a car that is not running to the junkman, he’ll tell you how much it is worth in terms of junk. He won’t care to repair it and make it run again. That is not his job. He makes money from you selling it as junk! Divorce lawyers are vested in the same type of outcome.
My wife and I have been working with troubled marriages for almost 10 years. We have seen couples recover from all types of problems. We don’t see them as disposable junk. We see them as lifelong commitments with great opportunities for intimacy and friendship. I have seen heroic fidelity and amazing selflessness and miraculous healing.
We guide couples through irresolvable issues, past traumas and pain, hopelessness, family of origin issues, destructive and ineffective communication patterns. We help them build a structure for success. We share practical, real-life tools for building trust and intimacy. We demonstrate them in our own lives and then provide opportunities for practicing them. We put their marriages back on the road to happy destiny!
One couple recently attended a 3-day intensive and wrote that they had got more done with us than they had in 30 years of therapy. Another couple was on the brink of divorce. They too had seen many therapists for their issues and had not been able to resolve repetitious problems. I’m happy to report that they are thriving 2 years later.
If you’ve tried everything else and nothing is working, I suggest giving me a call and let’s see if there is hope for your coupleship.